My house looks like a disaster…
…some unholy cross between episodes of Hoarders, Cops, and the as-yet-unproduced Filth.
We’ve been meaning to clean it, of course. Meaning to wade through the mountains of dirty socks and thrice-used underware stacked on the living room table, “to be washed”; meaning to do a walk-through of the other rooms and corners where work-stained pants and pit-stained yellowing white tees wait to be collected and moved to the living room table, “to be washed”; meaning to rewash the soured jeans and hoodie sweatshirts that have been mildewing in the laundry basket, having moved from the living room table weeks ago but never having made it past “to be dryed”. We got caught up with doing the dishes.
We got caught up in deciding which encrusted pans had only vegetable matter left in them and which might have chicken-and-egg flavored salmonella, so we’d know what to use to make breakfast. We got caught up in moving just enough dirty dishes out of the sink and onto the kitchen table, so we’d have room to rinse the caked black sludge out of just enough coffee cups for morning caffeine rituals. We got caught up in compacting the overflowing trash can with the heel of our boots, so we could open the oven as a refuge for dishes-waiting-to-be-rinsed. We put the dishes off to do some other housework, instead.
We put off bathing the dogs until the rugs had been properly steam-cleaned. We put off steam-cleaning the dog piss out of the rugs until the floors had been properly vacuumed. We put off vacuuming the floors until the toys&comics had been properly put away. We put off putting the toys&comics away until the shelves had been properly dusted. We put off dusting the shelves until we had clean rags to properly dust with.
All the clean rags are dirty; they’re sitting on the living room table, “to be washed”; we got caught up in other things and put it off, but it’s something we’ve been meaning to do.
3-D TV hits home:
But who needs TV when you can squirt a LOLcat across the room:
Which is a good thing, because this guy just ate all my literatures:
Everything old is green again, or, I can has non-toxix?
Dead people have the best antiques:
What to do when your junk-drawer overflows:
Lost kitchen arts:
Finish what’s on your plate or your grandchildren will pay the price: